Deep in the rainforest; progress update.

Mark on your to do-list: Tofino, Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada Wickanninish Inn.

Just a 3.5 hour drive for us, but still stunning. Surf all year round if you have a 4/5mm wet suit.

Got in their gym today, this 101st day of post total hip replacement surgery.

20:00 stationary bike
15:00 eliptical
15:00 treadmonster (about 3:00 of running, shhhh don’t tell anyone)

Then a bunch of gym stuff.

Ta-da.

 

The Professor and Mary-Anne, here on Gilligan’s Island.

We are afloat in a sea of ignorance, sailing on the S.S. Minnow and are about to land on a deserted island.

I would still pick Mary-Anne over Ginger.

I was talking to a professor yesterday. He was busy connecting a transistor radio to coconut shells and picking up some Japanese broadcast (he was driving and fading in and out of connectivity).

Anyway, he said that there is (we know this) no reliable data on wear rates of long-term running on artificial hips. There is some data on self-measured so-called “high impact” activity and there still is no significant wear rates that lead to revision from those activities. No causation/correlation.

Just anecdotal information.

Forget Gilligan, I feel like Magellan.

The professor is an assistant professor (Phd), who specialises specifically in post-joint replacement return to movement. The advice we are given is not based on scientific information.

 

Just a little data update

Three months and four days since surgery.

We have a lake route around here that we call “the lakes”….don’t ask….

It’s 10K and is quite flat, but is primarily a dirt surface and being in the rain forest, here, it is muddy, but there are gravelly parts too.

I used to run it in 39-48 minutes depending on purpose of run and race it in 37-38.

First walk around two weeks ago, with ski poles: 2:04:38. Last week: 1:57:37 yesterday: 1:47:28.

Who has money? Let’s wager I go for a 1:33:xx next week. Who’s in?

 

Got the green light, suckas. Timing is everything.

Me seven years ago, leading the Landsend half marathon. Ran the first 10K in a near personal best of 37:XX, then faded to 10th and finished in 1:23:58. Master age 42, I think….okay eight years ago. Maybe I was 43 or 44….who cares?

Timing is everything.

Got the green light to spin. My ultra-conservative surgeon gave me the green light to start spinning lightly. To go clipless, not stand up, but get on the bike, but don’t take to the roads just yet.

Tomorrow it will be three months: Dec 2 -> March 2.

He made references to running, but didn’t say, “one day run” – not sure if he was hinting or what – but if he is going to leave it up to me to interpret what he is saying, then as far as I am concerned, he explicitly said, “get out and run all you want,” which cannot be further from the truth.

“The process is a year,” he said.

Holy shit.

I have been playing table tennis and am now about 120-wins – 20-losses, with the cripplyness. The work opponents have been trying to take advantage of my inability to dive through the air.

They are going down.

Although they are getting better and better, like being chased in a dream, slow-mo through the mud, I will wake just in time to avoid being eaten by the cannibals. Or being beaten by a crappy table tennis player.

Anyway, I will spin tomorrow. Playoffs are coming up. Spring is in the air. Timing couldn’t be better….not to mention we have a work-party table tennis tournament coming up this week.

They are going down.

Timing is everything.

All important 78-day follow-up and check-in and report and update and blog entry and status report and whereabouts prominence

Yesterday, so I guess really “77-day report,” I walked a 10K trail loop with ski poles. Note, not “walking poles”, but downhill ski poles, just because.

I probably walked about 15K yesterday including a 1.5K walk from car park to race start area (photo shooting) and then back again, plus the 10K, plus random other movement while I was out and about, for example grocery shopping, which is good because the shopping cart is like having poles – gives stability in the effort to walk perfectly straight. And if I was dyslexic, they would be “sik lopes” – a dyslexic Fruedian misnomer.

In this case, we put the cart before the horse, metaphorically and malapropism-ally.

Anyway, the coordination to take advantage of the poles required no time whatsoever. I plan to drop those bad boys soon, so have no intention of buying nordic-walking poles.

So no problems whatsoever from the extreee walking.  I find this interesting as the most I have walked since my surgery date on December 2nd, was about 3K in one go. So to jump ahead to 10K and 15K for the day is exciting, especially with having no repercussions.

Well there were repercussions, but I solved that issue with a mouth-watering bottle of Earth’s Heavenly nectar, a double bock (ice-bock stout that you have at room temperature) known as Hermannator; it’s the elixer of life. A seasonal fare that provides a note of caramel and dates and a hint of a nuts and molasses finish; perfectly paired with a juicy steak well seasoned and cooked just so on the barbie.

We had nachos, but added beef. Hermannator pairs with anything actually. Even hot buttered popcorn.

Have played table tennis (don’t call it Ping Pong (®) ) for about a month. Record at work is currently about 100-15 and that’s with my opponents taking advantage of my inability to dive through the air, due to THR.

I can see doing short ultras in my future. I couldn’t really before. But rather than do road marathons, I can see doing trail 50K races (30 mile). So I might go for that.

I love racing 800-metres, but the nuero-muscular function has to be so high, where in an ultra, the running is pretty low-profile.

…just thinking out loud. Feel free to unknow most of the latter bits.

“Prost”

 

 

 

 

Hello Prosthetic my old friend, I’ve come to walk with you again


Well here is my sweet junk on display. This was a candid shot. We considered posing to the left and posing to the right and doing something different with my hair, but I think this one captures my personality well. You can really tell that I am half Irish here; County Cork.

I am guessing the shiny bit is so when I run at night, traffic will see me from a distance. Better than those safety vests, I will tell you that.

Slick as ice.

The other side looks like it wasn’t afflicted with osteoarthritis. Sad really, looks kinda dull.

Doc was adamant that I cannot run after surgery, today he was talking about when I run again….real paradigm shift there. I left the office with my jaw dragging on the floor.

Doc said, “keep using two crutches, don’t use a cane”. As when we walk with a cane, we walk askew. Two crutches we are aligned straight. Makes sense.

Surgery: Dec 2nd. Eighteen days later (today), pulled staples. Can shower now.

’tis a good day.

“The words of the prosthetics are written on the subway walls…”

 

 

It’s me again, the Guy that likes Mondays (now) (suddenly) (and forever more)

Whale
Here is a random photo of twin brothers stuck inside a whale on the beach in New Zealand, fishing for a vertabrae to keep as a trophy. They took out L13, apparently. Photo credit: Christopher Kelsall

…Weeeeeeeelll…..

Maybe I am a little over ambitious about Mondays. Generally-speaking if you love your job or school or things you do, you will like it when Monday comes around again. So we don’t hate Mondays, we hate that job or class or thing that we have to start again on Monday. It takes away from our fun.

Today is Wednesday and I sigh a small sigh of relief. See I was progressing by the nano-second, as it were, and went down to one crutch by day eight, post-surgery. Too soon. Thought I felt a stress reaction or stress fracture or something like that. Back to both crutches. Things are calming down now.

Anyone else have this?

So maybe I confused the potential stress-thing with an irritated I.T. Band. See the band is a tendon that runs from the top of the hip saddle, down the outside of the leg and attaches to the outside of the knee. It is there for lateral stability and to irritate the hell out of you  when it wants (dual purpose tendon).

If we run a lot, as many of you well know, it can get tight and rub on the nodule on the outside of the knee. For non-runners and new runners we think, ALAS! running henceforth is terribly bad stuff for the knee. But as we veteran runners know, it is the band, tuned like a guitar string, too tight, rubbing on the frets. We just need to turn the tuning peg back by massaging and kneeding the baskard (word altered for sensitivity to those who didn’t grow up with a father).

But I fret not now, for perhaps it was indeed the I.T. Band and some of the pain radiated around? Anyone have that, early days post-op? Please say yes.

Anyway, things  are both hunky and dory.

Doin’ stuff.

Hangin’ out.

Off the drugs.

Man that Dilaudid is bad stuff. Six times stronger than morphine, I had dreams of clown monsters and scenarios that surely couldn’t happen, like swimming in a river of warm and delicious Crown Royal whiskey with the cap for a float and big straw. I mean it was good and everything, but that’s a lot of whiskey gone to the ocean. Maybe it was a metaphor. Drink all of your whiskey!

Anyway, let me know if you have had a scare with the I.T. Band. Thanks.

BTW, I would take a picture of my scar, but it is not half as sexy as that one posted recently. Mine resembles a rattle snake that got shot repeatedly with a staple gun.

Hip was replaced Friday. Monday off pain meds. Suddenly I love Mondays.

Hello, fellow skeleton crew:

My name is Christopher Kelsall, I am writing in from gorgeous Victoria, BC, which is located on the southern tip of Vancouver Island. Or as we like to pretend, the Independent Democracy of Vancouver Island.

I went in for a total hip replacement (right) on Freaky Friday and was upright Friday night, walking Saturday morning, walking fast and more furiously Sunday and then Monday – despite what the Boomtown Rats sang (“I hate Mondays”) – I suddenly like Mondays, because I had no pain killers for over eight hours and trekked from the warmth of my hospital bed to the warshroom (say it with an English accent, will you?) and back and felt like I didn’t need any more painkillers. But the Registered Nurse was kind enough to say, “take them anyway, and ween yourself off of them slowly.”

So I am.

Ceramic with highly cross-linked polyethylene is as slick as ice and smooth as glass. When I go through the schwinggggg faze of my gait, it feels almost too smooth. I am used to grinding and pain and lack of rotation. So odd.

I am home now, feet up, wife is my servant. Living like a king. I just have to remind myself that I cannot bend over or twist or start running suddenly.

I am 5o under the hood, but the computer in the bonnet suggests 20. Ready to do handstands.

I had a fun time getting the spinal epidural. Unlike other surgeries, where they throw a mask on you and ask you to count to 10 and you get to 6…..I was looking around, hugging a pillow and announcing when the needle was disturbing a nerve in my buttocks and hamstring.

Then suddenly, it was like I had peed myself in a wet suit and I was getting warm all over. The warmth crawled up my legs like as if I was maybe filling up with warm pee? Really cool. Sorta.

That was easy.

When I make any sort of progress, which I have been doing by the nano-second so far, I will follow up with another post.